Have you ever had one of those days where the thought processes run deep? Today I just feel I am questioning what I want my life to be like and what I can do to implement change. I feel I have operated for a long time with blinkers on. How can I best distract myself? How can avoid being overwhelmed by clutter, responsibilities, my failings? It really has been a journey of switching off to things when they get too hard, or too much.
What would happen if I did decide I am not going to accept this anymore. I feel the energy bubbling under the surface. The possibilities of what would happen if I stepped up and stopped kidding myself. I am not saying it would happen overnight. I got suggested a book on amazon the other day which said that our minds do a great job at deluding us. This certainly struck a chord. If there is one area I think I excel its in looking at things in just the right way to suit my purpose. To be real and say I am not going to accept this way anymore is pretty big deal for me.
It ofcourse poses the question of how exactly does one go about changing the habits of a life time. Do we delve wholeheartedly into a self help book in the hope that it will realease us? Do we look to our own instinct of the right way to proceed? My gut feeling is I have to find my own way at the outset at least. I have a strongly honed stubborn streak which sets in whenever I receive advice or attempt to follow someone elses rules. If I make it my own I have much more success, then if I feel I need to get it just the same as someone else. I am terminally unique afterall.
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