Saturday 18 June 2011

On My Mind

Have you ever had one of those days where the thought processes run deep?  Today I just feel I am questioning what I want my life to be like and what I can do to implement change.  I feel I have operated for a long time with blinkers on.  How can I best distract myself? How can avoid being overwhelmed by clutter, responsibilities, my failings?  It really has been a journey of switching off to things when they get too hard, or too much. 

What would happen if I did decide I am not going to accept this anymore.  I feel the energy bubbling under the surface.  The possibilities of what would happen if I stepped up and stopped kidding myself.  I am not saying it would happen overnight.  I got suggested a book on amazon the other day which said that our minds do a great job at deluding us.  This certainly struck a chord.  If there is one area I think I excel its in looking at things in just the right way to suit my purpose.  To be real and say I am not going to accept this way anymore is pretty big deal for me.

It ofcourse poses the question of how exactly does one go about changing the habits of a life time.  Do we delve wholeheartedly into a self help book in the hope that it will realease us?  Do we look to our own instinct of the right way to proceed?  My gut feeling is I have to find my own way at the outset at least.  I have a strongly honed stubborn streak which sets in whenever I receive advice or attempt to follow someone elses rules.  If I make it my own I have much more success, then if I feel I need to get it just the same as someone else.  I am terminally unique afterall.

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